Part 13: Ups and downs, highs and lows.
Update 11: Ups and downs, highs and lows.
Alright, I think that’s enough bastard swords for now. The thread has voted on a new team of Goodybag, Tokyo Tom and Hammerhood to help us overcome any tanks hanging out on the bluff.
A strange item that makes you invisible. The perfect way to sneak into the enemy’s tank!
I forgot to show this off last time; this is our reward for saving all the slimes on Mt. Krakatroda. It does exactly what it says on the tin, and I wish I could just throw one on everyone at the start of battle before they run off to infiltrate things. Having anyone who picks up ammo collect one and then switching them to infiltration mode might work… Perhaps I’ll experiment with it between updates.
Back on the bluff, we’ve seen crystal walls all over the place. So let’s start at the beginning, shattering this one on the very first screen.
...Well, this is easy. There are only ten slimes left, and three of them are right here.
Apparently there are more of them dotted all over the bluff.
Oops! I shouldn’t call him by his full name, it embarrasses him for some reason. I’m glad to hear you’ve rescued him, anyway. Thank you so much, little Rocket!
Boo Hooly, seriously? Way to give your son a complex, lady. He’s so getting teased about that later.
It takes a big slime to fill Big Daddy’s armour, Mr. Hooly. I’m sure you have other talents. Possibly accounting. Says the dork with the B.Com.
Alright, let’s load these folks onto the Trans-Slimenian and head out.
That means there’s no stopping you now! I’m sending you this to say thank you.
Hey, you know how we can’t make third-tier missiles with alchemy? We can’t make Destructiballs with alchemy either! And Irritaballs aren’t used for any recipes at all, so I probably won’t bother making any.
Mama Mia and I are cooking up some nice nourishing treats for when you come home.
Ain’t no cooking like home cooking.
Statues of the Goddess are useless as ammo, but they’re used in a couple of alchemy recipes that require her holy power. Sadly, we can’t pray to this to rewind time.
(
remains best Goddess.)
I hope our Hooly will turn into a good lad like you have.
He may be the only slime in town with glasses and a tie, but at least Mr. Hooly gives us another nice healing item.
We’re not done getting easy slime chests yet, though!
I can sympathise.
Boingburg’s quite high up too, though. Especially for someone of my size.
Hey, it’s an alternate recipe for a now-outdated sword. Also one that can require up to four layers of alchemy to make, depending on your ingredients situation. There’s another two on top of that if you want the best sword alchemy can make.
Heading on up in the world, the barrier at level two blocks off a small side area filled with a few enemies, some money and one or two small goodies.
Each of the tank battles here has a screen with a few treats before it, actually. But let’s get down to business, having battles in giant tanks, perched on outcroppings in the cliffside.
Bring it, beaky!
Ooh, looks like the old Platypanzer got replaced with a new model! And just so you know, the tank’s mottos are especially punderful today. Now, let’s quack us some punks!
Our updated ammo supply and new crew members should make this much easier on us.
The Goodybag’s Zoom spell means that he’s always on the go, stealing whatever ammo the enemy’s left lying around. And of course, the Hammerhood is still a great cannon loader.
Tokyo Tom also performs fairly well, though his sneaky disguises can’t protect him from taking incidental hits due to touching burning items or getting too close to enemies as they throw things into the cannons. His survivability is definitely pretty good, but getting spotted tends to spell his doom.
Don’t mind me, just headbutting this shield out of the air on the way to the engine.
The Goodybag runs around randomly when spotted like it does in the wild, but very few enemies can keep up with its speed. Also, check out the fancy flooring in here.
We’ve seen the engine room before (it’s the curved one with no splits), so let’s skip to the slime saving.
I’ll be openin’ it as soon as I get back to town, so come ‘ave a butcher’s when yer around.As has been pointed out in the thread, our shopkeeping friend here is most likely a reference to Dodgy Dave from Dragon Quest VIII. He’s certainly got the Pickham accent.
And don’t you forget it, bud.
I reckon you’ll be in an’ out quite a bit, so I’m givin’ ya this as an inter-duck-tree gift.
As far as strategies for getting people into your store go, offering them a free machine gun is pretty extreme. The Vulcan Gun is another interesting item I’ve never used; you can set them up somewhere, load ammo into them and have it fire on enemy troops… or you can put it on the special platforms just to either side of the Schleiman’s cannons, and have it do unblockable damage to the enemy tank. The shots don’t deal much damage (20/40/60 in total depending on ammo quality), but it is guaranteed. Of course, that’s assuming your crew doesn’t just pick up the ammo and the gun, then throw them into the cannons.
Time to see what new opponent awaits us on level three!
Hmm. Well, Rocket has spent literal days at a time outside so far, even though we know that slimes can indeed get a tan. So he must be using some kind of special slime sunblock…?
Of course not, we already dealt with Spine Les.
Alright, both of those puns are just… urgh. Let’s smash us a cactus.
Flawless cammoflague.
Tokyo Tom’s method of attack helps keep him safe from the spiny Cactiballs, but there was this one case where he got a bit confused. I suspect that it might have had something to do with the corner above him.
Anyway, much smashing and grabbing was done. Sadly, only one of these arrows successfully damages the enemy.
I can’t say I’ve tried much Tex-Mex, so I had to look up what a fajita was. Sounds tasty.
Oh, and the engine room is the split kind. Take the northern path this time.
Make sure you look inside. It’ll be a bit more exciting than a doggy bag, I promise!King Mottle Slime, Spot, dog jokes. I get it.
Also, a free Golden Arrow! That’s awesome.
Si, senor.
Ah, now here’s a recipe I will definitely never use. There are much easier ways to get Fire Water later on, and I won’t need any until then.
Now that we’ve gotten back up to where Big Daddy and Mama Mia were being held, we can claim a few goodies and scale the rest of the bluff.
Most of the treasure isn’t anything super fancy, but it’s appreciated. Oh, and you know how I broke a bunch of those piggy banks for bastard swords and mirror shields?
Turns out that paid pretty well.
May the power of miracles be with you. Offer your souls to the gods.
Another level, another tank lying in wait to do battle.
We’re on a roll, so why stop now?
Yes, the Pyramaniac’s back! It’s still stocked with spooklear bombs, so watch it be buried in no time.
There are some other bits of ammo mixed in to knock down our own, of course… But the living corpses are lousy loaders, and Ninny Hammer can still lose their grip and start flailing about.
Which leads to this Hammerhood slapfight in no-man’s-land.
And also Ninny not realising Rocket is midair as they try to come after him.
Lies and slander! The only one of our units in their tank at the time was the Goodybag, and he doesn’t attack.
Box, strong! You break GOOD! Fangummy no break box.Hey, it’s our first wild slime! Don’t ask me how a slime has fur and claws.
Bob thinks you take over whole world! Bob cheers you on. Unga-ga-ga! Unga! This fangummy is for you.
The amount of usability this recipe has should be pretty obvious, I think.
Time to head up into unexplored territory!
Level five is extremely straightforward.
Just after finding this sleepy slime, we finally manage to reach the top of Callmigh Bluff.
The nearby teleporter allows us to skip the whole climb during return trips, and means even the laziest slimes can come up and admire the view.
..................................................................................Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........................Oh, not again! I fell asleep in the middle of a senten............The tired old dog gives us an iron arrow, which is mainly handy because I used most of mine for alchemy already.
Oooh, a rope! I wonder…
...I wonder how it feels to get that much rope burn on your face.
Wait a minute, this is progress. There was optional stuff back at the top.
…
So it turns out that when I said Rocket wouldn’t have to climb the bluff with his face, I was only sort of right.
Let’s move on.
Ooh, another seed of life! Rocket’s going to be the most indestructible little slime in the world by the end of this adventure.
Well I’m callin’ ya! The Enforker’s no easy mark. This is one tank you ain’t gonna beat.Finally somebody decides to work with the area’s name.
You let one o’ my bullets into your tank, and you’re history, my friend.You probably shouldn’t be giving me tips on how to fight you, dude. Just for future reference.
I’m not sure what my favourite punny tank name/motto combination is, but the Enforker’s is definitely up there. You definitely want to watch this one.
Mainly because my Goodybag’s presence lead to the Living Statues all throwing the Enforker’s signature ammo at it, which is a fantastically bad idea.
These are Lightning Staves. They do not deal damage upon contact with the enemy tank, but instead land in the cannon room and start charging. Once they’ve charged, the tank they’re in periodically gets hit by lightning for forty damage a pop.
Suffice it to say that the Enforker almost entirely kills itself.
Our Goodybag’s comment is particular apt, I think. Take the southern fork in the engine room this time.
Shocking, I know.
Now I be going back to the town. I be waiting for you there.
...Phrasing! Also, say hello to Morrie Mozzarella in slime form. In Dragon Quest VIII, he’s in charge of the arena, that game’s greatest sidequest. I’m so excited about the prospect of him becoming a playable character.
Already you have moved the 55St iron ball, or no? After the 55St iron ball is gone, you have some grandi battaglie ahead!
Of course, Morrie-Morrie is going to be in charge of something special here as well. We’ll take a look at that once we’re back in town.
How lucky! Let’s whack this one and see what it coughs up at the end of the area.
Now that we’re done with all the tank battles in this area, there’s just one last slime to save.
We’re back down at the bottom of the bluff, so that’s where Gregg was imprisoned earlier.
The next screen gives us a warp back to the first one, and this doorway. You all know what that means!
It’s time to fight our third boss… who, unlike Pot Belly, is actually mildly threatening!
That’s awful.
I always suspected Pot Belly was a useless layabout. But The Big Three was one short.
While puny isn’t a word I’d use to describe Rocket, we do need this slime knight to fight the boss. How kind of him to give us the key to his downfall.
Let’s dance, Loon.
The showy scythe master’s basic attack is simple; just slash the small scythes back at him.
If you manage to hit him with one of them, he will sometimes (but not always) counter by tossing his full-sized scythe at you. I hope you remembered that Rocket can hover, that thing you’ve never had to do before this point and were last reminded about in the Tomb of Tootinschleiman!
Oh, and don’t hover too late. Or this will happen, as it did a couple of times throughout the fight.
As Dr. Fetus pointed out to me, you can also just knock the scythe back if you hit it three times.
Once Harvest Loon drops below a third of his health, he starts summoning these reapers to clutter the screen and try to overwhelm Rocket. And more reapers appear as the boss' health drops further.
Rocket has so much health at this stage though, so it’s okay if you mess up a bit.
He’ll fall before too long.
I think I’ll take this as a souvenir. Should look great on Rocket’s wall.
Erm, excuse me! Could you help me? I’m a servant of the Almighty Goddess, you know.
Still, we can talk about that back in town. Let’s use that teleportal and begone.
Sounds like a good plan to me, Flabbot.
We got some pretty cool stuff on this trip, I think. And I lucked out on the Goodybag I defeated, because this is their best drop for the bluff.
-------
Thank the Goddess that you’re not hurt, Flabbot Flancisco! I’m sorry you’ve all had to worry so much. Brave Rocket here came to my rescue.
Tomorrow will be a busy day, so you’ll need to get your strength back.
-------
Alright, time to see what the new day has brought us!
Never feel alone in your fight, for She is always watching over you.
More recipes are always nice, especially since I wasn’t going to use the spooklear bombs for anything else.
Great, now I’m picturing a slime sneezing. It’s not pretty.
...What hands?
Huh… Speaking of, where is Big Daddy?
My beloved Slimenia, reduced to this mess… Whatever is broken can be fixed, Your Royal Wobbliness. We should have everyone working to restore Slimenia to its former glory.
HE’S RIGHT, YOUR WOBBLINESS. WE CAN’T GIVE IN TO THIS. FIRST THINGS FIRST. WE’LL START BY CLEANING UP THE TOWN AND THE PALACE.
WE’VE ALL GOT TO PULL TOGETHER AND TIDY THIS PLACE UP!-------
Now we need to channel the same enthusiasm into defeating the Plob! The Goonins are investigating the Plob’s movements as we speak. They should be back at any moment. Hmph! Excellent!
What is it? Calm down and speak sense, slime!
Er… Dark what was it now? It wasn’t Dark Dude... Dark Angel maybe? That’s preposterous! Blasphemy, even! You must be getting confused with ‘archangel’.
Come on, think! Was it dark glasses? Dark matter? Dark Wonder? Bodacious, braw! That’s nearly it! It sounded a bit like Dark Wonder!Hang on a minute… If it sounds like Dark Wonder, then…
…
Well, I think everyone’s reactions speak for themselves.
If they’re trying to raise the Dark One, that most certainly isn’t good! Hmph. If this information is correct, we could be in mortal danger. I want you to go there, Rocket, and put a stop to the Plob’s evil plan at once!
Be careful, Rocket. It is a place that hides many evils.
...That could have gone better. And just after we restored Boingburg, too…
Eat this before you go. You’ll need all the strength you can muster.
And with that, Rocket reaches 12 HP! Only four more to go… Though as I remembered after this recording session, I actually missed one of them.
So after the rest of the stuff you’re going to see here, I went and grabbed this one in Forewood Forest.
Make that 13 HP!
Alright, so now we need to go foil the Plob’s latest evil scheme. That can come next time… For now, let’s close out with a quick look at the restored Boingburg.
Sounds like the princess is a bit of a pig.
She has some suitably fancy decor though.
The palace grounds look like a lovely place to take a stroll now that they aren’t covered in graffiti and tread tracks.
It’s in the middle of the part of town that’s over the bridge. It’s full of books, squishy.
The library is also massive and presently empty, aside from a recipe for golden arrows hidden among the book piles in the back room. It takes a pair of wooden arrows and a gold bar, which is about as valuable as you’d expect.
I’m back in business thanks to you. You’re the guv! I buy an’ sell all sorts o’ stuff ‘ere in me shop. I reckon it could come in ‘andy for you, eh? Drop in whenever you fancy, won’t ya.
Splodgy Dave is a far better source of holy water and herbs than alchemy is, and he also has a couple of items you won’t find elsewhere. The pellets are the vulcan gun’s basic ammo, and the toy slime is used in a couple of very important alchemy recipes. They aren’t cheap, but it’s nothing a bit of piggy bank farming won’t fix. (Mirror shields also sell for 800, and the bastard swords for 300. Money is no object.)
Alright, most of the other rescued slimes are hanging out with Morrie-Morrie on the west side now.
Well, it does involve a giant cannon from the looks of things…
You buy new canvas? Only 500 fangummies.
You paint good fangummy. Bob want see!This new canvas is definitely better than the blue sky one. I think I could work with this.
Rocket doesn’t have any hands, Bob. Sorry.
Hmm? Who’s been talking about our tank?
Anyway, looks like Morrie-Morrie’s been busy. Let’s see what he’s up to.
Er… Yes?
I knew you would say yes, ragazzo. You… you have the GUSTO! Ay? What’s wrong? Why the long faces? Mamma mia, I am stupido! I forget to explain the rules. Ah ha ha!
The arena of the magnifico tank combat! Ah, the sights, the sounds and the smells… 
You must start from the bottom, ragazzo. From the Rank C. But with the PASSION and GUSTO, you can become the champione of championes!
Yes, this game has its own arena sidequest! Each rank has Rocket facing down three opponents, with a reward provided at the end along with access to the next rank. We could probably do the first half of it now, but I’m considering saving it all for the postgame.
But Mother Glooperior seems to have rather taken to the task. She won’t give anyone else a look in! All I can do is stand here and sing. La la la ♪Oh, is that the game’s very first typo I see? We’re now about two-thirds of the way through, so that’s pretty good.
The church is getting pretty packed now, but we still have room for at least one more slime.
Oh, and we have one more crew member joining us! This is the last of the slimes who will serve in the Schleiman until the postgame rolls around.
Flabbot Flancisco can only do one thing, but at least it’s something unique. His singing slowly restores the Schleiman’s HP at a rate of about twenty per minute, so I’m told. It’s not a huge amount of healing, but you could certainly do a lot worse.
Slimechanic has a couple of upgrades for us as well, enough to take the Schleiman from 570 up to 760 HP! Their power and requirements are:
-50 Gold, 2 Catnip. (50 HP)
-60 Gold. (60 HP)
-80 Gold, 3 Fire Waters. (80 HP)
And with that, we’re done for today! There’s a fresh round of tank battles next time, so choose some new crew members if you so desire.